Cal Laftria

This is tough to write. Even harder is the thought that my old journal is floating around somewhere. Then I ponder what happened to Mina? Was she left back there with our things? I’m hoping she just avoided the port to the outer planes and is ok. Perhaps even trying to seek us out. The thought that she may have not survived the teleport worries me. Did we lose our fateful comrade and is everyone hoping that she is alive? Regardless of our items and gear will we ever meet up with our friend again?

But my old journal is floating around somewhere. If Mina has it safe with our other items then excellent. However if it was to surface then what would happen. My thoughts and worries about various group members could that cause harm? The decision if I wanted to create a new journal has been a tough one. Part of me doesn’t like the idea that someone could read my thoughts but the other part tells me this is what I want because I want our story to be heard. This would just be one part of the overall story. People who read my journal would only be getting a small part of the story but it’s a perspective you don’t normally get. So I decided I would keep writing in a new book.

I’ve also been trying to improve on my musical ability. While raw talent has carried me a ways there are steps that it wont cover/ Areas that I have to practice.

Labels: From somewhere in the planes

Who is Sam? Over the course of several months I have often pondered that. At first I distrusted a little because I could not understand her motives. Now I have come to like her and her carefree spirit but still question. Perhaps she has changed over the past few days and assumed a place in the group that I did not see? I have been using my Teleport spell to travel a bit more and have spent a good amount of time from the group. However her recent attidude towards the torture and killing of a person for information was somewhat frightening. I do not know if I have missed it but I do not remember seeing that side of her before. Heck in the past I cannot remember a time that she actually hurt someone. I still feel a little ill for using the Enervation spell on that person. Wielding negative energy is not something I want to do often but sometimes dire circimstances require such tools. Soon I will discuss her recent change privately and hopefully it is not what will become the norm. Though I feel as if there is something that I missed. Most of the group took it in stride was it shock or previous knowledge? Have I been gone too often? I think I shall cease using teleport so much.

Floating cities of power. Imagine the amount of magic it would take to lift a city out of the group or to great a city floating on a large piece of rock. Imagine life on such a rock. Floating around living our your days and you see the ground below you. Growing up with awe of power that created such. Would one follow the paths of power and seek it? A floating city. When one things of a city you imagine them being permanent structures. Such a thing that could float and be hanging around for many centuries. Growing up on such and knowing life only on said floating city. Then suddenly the city falls out of the sky crashing. The brief moments where your world is falling apart. Everything you knew is now being pulled apart and your falling. Such a thing is close to the feeling I bet those people in the Lich’s tower felt. Suddenly the tower, the teachings, and their life was brought to a crashing halt. To suddenly be without a mentor and teacher. Someone you have looked up to after many years almost a father figure to be gone. Such separation that is sudden can be traumatic. I wonder how well they will take it. I wonder how the towns people will take it. Combine this with the fact we left two members there. Suddenly the balance of the group has changed. Lance leaving and staying there. With a whole new world with things somewhat changed. I can admire such conviction but there are great things that need to be done in this world. I wonder if he thought there was nothing left in our world. Was it the fact we killed someone who did good in that world that convinced him he needed to stay? Then we left Kadar there also. I wonder if he will achieve his goal. I plan on visiting to that plane another time but I imagine it would be a length of time before I do. As such I still ponder a song for Sam. Trying to make it a light hearted song is difficult with the amount of danger and sadness that has occurred. How can I make light the leaving of friends? How can I make a joke to make people laugh when a group member dies. Trying to make it light hearted would mean I wont tell much at all. Mostly it will be about her just being with us and being a hero by doing ordinary things. A song telling people they can make a change by just being themselves. Now I ponder if I could do another song later on. Who knows. Time will tell and perhaps the mandolin will provide inspiration. Now I sleep finally back in Cormyr back on my own world waiting for what will happen next. I know by myself not as much good would be done with the group but I ponder the limitations following a knight. I didn’t know if I would come back here and now I am pondering where my travels will take me again. Perhaps it is a curse to wander constantly. It is not so bad of a curse.

Am pondering a Song that Cal plans on writing for Sam... here is a rough draft.. will have to play with it more..

Let me share a story with you
ladies and gents
its a story for one and all from
children to steel regents

Tis a tale of about the true hero of the purple land
one who recently joined up with this ragtag band
Though she scouted about covering our rear
she braved many creatures without fear
Always a smile and never a frown
not even a evil hydra got her down

for this is a tale of the lady named Sam
who teaches us that ordinary people
can make a change, "Yes Ma'am"
You can make a change by simply standin up
as long as whats right is in your heart
even the little things help the cause
by example we all do our own part

So let me tell you a story about this woman
who traveled with us across many different lands
Staggering to the mind the vastness is
but she was one who understands

Dazzling and baffling those who sided with evil
no matter the task she stood there with us
even with a friends soul retrieval

Great things she helped us acheive
but you will never know it by sight
her skill immeasureable I believe
though she always looking for a light?

for this is a tale of the lady named Sam
who teaches us that ordinary people
can make a change, "Yes Ma'am"
You can make a change by simply standin up
as long as whats right is in your heart
even the little things help the cause
by example we all do our own part

Random thought...

Take a look at Faerun. Look at the major battles and struggles throughout history. Then step back and ponder a multidude of planes of existance. Those big struggles were important to those in it but on the grand scale they are a small part of the universe. How small of a struggle are ones own petty concerns.

It is days like today that I used to enjoy. The group getting together and planning to pull down a evil person. To bring them to justice or stop their reign of terror. Those times when I know I am on the side of good getting ready to rid the world of another bit of evil. To comfort myself with the thought that I have helped prevent more families from being ripped apart. To prevent another child from growing up without their parents. Because often the most evil thing a good man can do is nothing at all. Too many years I wandered and sat back watching doing nothing except wander. Now I am with a group of people seeking the cause of good. We are out doing something making a change helping people. It is days like today that make me wonder. We are on another plane of existence. Er.. We are on another world entirely. With its own planes and Gods. Magic here works about the same as it did on my world and the people are close to the same. Here families are torn apart the same way as they are on my world. Here evil does exist and there are hero’s who seek to vanquish them. The many difference between the world are small compared to the similarities. Here a evil lich fled to from our world after we destroyed him. He reformed and we had good information he was a respected man here. A protector of a small town. Hero to the people another who was doing the same thing as I. Preventing families from being destroyed and fighting against evil. Was all that he done here an act. I do not know. I dare not trust any word that he said. I should push this all away from my mind and think about our next mission. I should not let it get to me but still I wonder. If I kill an innocent man either by anger or mistake or some other reason do all my good deeds counter it and I am allowed to still live my life or does that one act negate everything I have done. What about two acts. When does the scale tip when do I switch from being the hunter of evil to the evil hunted? This lich committed a great many crimes on our world. He also though is praised as a hero for many years on this one. Did we have a right to judge? I wish I had the blind faith that Deidus has. Eilistrea’s teachings say to repay violence with swifter violence. As I adventure more and more I am wondering if this is the path for me. I do not wish to be the judge, jury, and executioner. I do not know if I can turn my back to future times. I think the next time it comes up I will have to speak with Deidus about it. To be sure of the personal moral character before we attack with lethal force. Though I could always pursue a non-lethal route. Perhaps the fact that I still question my actions is what separates me from those we hunt. I should worry the day I stop pondering this.

Oh to be like Sam and so carefree. No worries except there to get the next bit of pipe weed. Though I have pondered her motivations in the past I think I have finally figured it out. I know Deidus keeps her around because she appears to be skilled at scouting. Also I ponder if she is a way to keep Cervantes a bit under control. I don’t think Deidus would do such a thing but I could understand such. I think her motivation is she heard stories about hero’s and wanted to be part of those stories. Which is understandable. Perhaps when she was younger she heard a bard tell a tale of glory and helping others and she took it to heart. Such is the feed of a bardic life. To hope your songs and words would effect someone into doing the right thing. She has helped that I am sure. Though I did not personally see those moments I think I shall let her know I understand and that I shall write a song for her. It will be the Ode to Sam.. A story about someone who looks up to hero’s and wanted to be like them but never quite got to be the one she wanted to be. Then she finds out there are others looking up to her and that she is a hero to so many and she never realized it. I think it shall be a grand tale and hopefully when she is traveling around inspiring others to do good people will hear my song and they will also be inspired.

Killing the lich I do not doubt was the right thing to do. I just worry that others will suffer because he is no longer there performing the good deeds that he did do. Even if he did a little good it means his soul was redeemable. I hope that whatever god he went to will weigh that in his suffering. Give him a moments respite for the innocents he saved. Though if he did it for no other purpose than to further his own deeds or if he did it to throw off those who could detect his true nature or if he setup the acts and then his own heroic fight then I hope he burns in the hottest fires and suffers for longer than the world still exists.

Is immortality worth having to live inside a cave. To dwell in a damp and dark place where the sun will never hit my face. As we hunt down these lich's I ponder if the act of becoming a lich is a evil deed or is it just the lust for power that corrupts them. To be able to play music and travel for a few thousand years. The stories and the people I would meet the lure of lichdom is a song I can dance to. I hold myself back though because I know that the dance will turn to once of sorrow. Also I do not think I am strong enough to resist the lure of so much power. Even though I as an elf have centuries to live compared to humans the time seems to fleeting pass me by. No I will not seek immortality for my physical self. I will seek that for my music and hope my songs will last for centuries after my death. That is something no magical power can truly offer anyone. I doubt if even the Gods themselves could offer such a prize to any mortal.